Wheeeee! (100/366)

“To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.”

Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

TIME:  8:14 PM
PLACE:  Target parking lot
SUBJECT:  Me
(photo by DramaQueen)

Well, the first day of work went ok.  It was all paperwork, going over company policies and some training on the system in the afternoon.  My boss took me to lunch, which was nice.  Tomorrow, more training, and I might get to start on some actual work. 
~*~*~
We needed various items from the store, so after supper, DQ and I went to Target.  I decided to embarrass her by riding the cart down the parking lot to our car.  At first she was all “Moooom!  Stop that!”  Then she decided that she would take a picture and post it to Facebook to embarrass me.  As if.  I really don’t care if her friends think I’m goofy.

Sadly, We All Find It Funny (190/365)

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

TIME:  10:32 PM
PLACE:  My brother’s house
SUBJECT:  Answer slips

We celebrated my nephew’s birthday at my oldest brother’s house this evening.  It was the last night spent with my California brother and his family before they fly home tomorrow.  We ended up playing a game called “Things” – basically everyone writes an answer to a posed question and your job is to match up each player with the answer they gave.  It didn’t take long before the “farts”, “poops”, “boobs” and several R-rated phrases appeared in the written answers – usually in duplicate.  And, since apparently all of us have the intellectual maturity of a 12 year-old boy, we giggled and snickered each time they were read.  ‘Cause that’s how my family rolls.

Some Assembly Required (158/365)

“All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, or speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words "Some Assembly Required”

Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

TIME:  7:39 PM
PLACE:  Basement
SUBJECT:  Hardware for MonkeyBoy’s birthday present

I found out yesterday that I will be having some hardware installed in my body on Friday – yes, I did such a good job of breaking my wrist that I won the prize of a titanium metal plate, which will be inserted into my wrist.  Can you hear the studio audience applauding wildly?  Sigh.  Well, I guess things could be worse – it could have been needed in my head. ~*~*~ MB picked out his 12th birthday present (the big day is on Saturday) this afternoon with his dad…a home gym.  They are bonding by assembling it over the next couple of days.  It has a lot of pieces.

Car Ride (125/365)

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear”

Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

TIME:  5:58 PM
PLACE:  The Jeep
SUBJECT:  Oreo

DramaQueen needed a ride to the ball fields to watch a (boy)friend play baseball this evening.  I decided to let the dog ride along for trip – she just loves to ride in the car.  On the way to the ball diamond, we stopped to pick up a girlfriend.  When DQ got out of the car, Oreo jumped into the front seat and watched intently as DQ walked to the front door of the house.  When they returned to the car, the dog was beyond happy. 

A “Grate” Time (261/365)

 
“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”

Dave Barry (American Writer and Humorist best known for his weekly newspaper column. b.1947)

TIME: 5:48 PM
PLACE:  Church picnic
SUBJECT:  Grate outside the gym.

We went to a church picnic this evening with the family.  We had an all-you-can-eat chicken dinner and sat by my Uncle Albert (mom’s brother), Aunt Ann, my cousin Kevin and his wife-Beth and my Aunt Alice (mom’s sister).  After dinner, of which I ate too much, HH gave the kids money and off they took for the carnival rides and inflatables.  He and I watched the polka-ing that was happening in the parking lot, then played some poker at the poker stand (HH won a 2-liter bottle of Coke-woo hoo!).  We then proceeded to lose money trying to win some gift baskets at several other stands.  We caught up with the kids, distributed additional money for a few more rides and games and finally, headed home.

Not Where I Wanted To Be (233/365)

 
“Database:  the information you lose when your memory crashes.”

Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top

TIME:  10:21 PM
PLACE:  DePaul Health Center
SUBJECT:  Emergency Room entrance

I did not expect to be at this hospital today.  I met my dad and sister at the Dragon Boat races and we raced our first heat.  Cathy and I walked back to the sponsor’s tent with Dad following a couple of minutes behind us.  I was sitting down and saw him walk past the tent.  He turned and looked a little confused.  I called him over and he asked me if I was sure that this was our tent.  He then stated that he felt really disorientated and could not figure out how he got there, nor did he remember why he was there.  Things went quickly after that.  He walked to the EMS area, they took his pressure, heart rate and called an ambulance.  They took his blood sugar level.  Everything was normal.  He was unable to remember anything that happened in the short term.  They took him to the emergency room in the ambulance; we followed.  At the ER, he was considered a stroke protocol and he had a CT scan.  That was normal.  No stroke.  The neurologist arrived and after asking him questions, stated that he has Transient Global Amnesia and was admitted for at least 24 hours.  He kept asking the same questions, in the same manner and tone.  His reactions to our answers was the same each time.  “Did I have a stroke?”, No. “Did I have a heart attack?” No. “Did we race?”, Yes. “Did we win?” No. “How did I get here?”. In an ambulance.  “Did you ride with me?”  No, we followed. “Did I have a fun ambulance ride?”, Yep, lights and sirens.  “Cool.”,  “I don’t remember driving this morning.” You were fine before the race. “I’m sorry guys, I just can’t remember.”  Don’t worry about it Dad. “I had a CAT scan?  They drug a cat over me? I’m sure they didn’t find anything.  Ha ha!” (He still had his sense of humor-that was good to see.) “What time is it? Really? It’s that late?  Wow, I lost a lot of time here.”  “So, what’s wrong with me then?  Are you going to tell me?”  You have Transient Global Amnesia.  It’s temporary.  “So, I guess that means I’m staying at the hospital tonight.”  Yes you are.  “What hospital is this?”  DePaul.  Then 2 minutes later, the exact same series of questions would begin again.  Cathy and I must have patiently answered these hundreds of times over the course of the day.  When we left, he was beginning to remember some of what he had done on Friday and starting to retain some of the answers we were giving him, so it looks like he was at the beginning of recovering.  He was scheduled for an MRI but hadn’t had it when we left at 10 o’clock.  He will probably be getting it in the morning.  I will be going back tomorrow (Sunday) to see how the MRI went and when he will be released.  He should make a full recovery, with a rare chance of reoccurrence.  He will not remember Saturday morning and most of the day at the ER and hospital at all.  Ever.  The whole thing is very surreal.

Definitely NOT Cujo (249/365)

 
"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'" 

David “Dave” Barry (American, Pulitzer Prize-winning American author and columnist, b1947)

TIME:  6:48 PM
PLACE:  The study
SUBJECT:  Oreo

Ugly grey skies today.  Mid-afternoon I walked around the trail twice at Longacre Park – 3 miles.  I even had my camera and was planning on taking some photos while I was there.  I might have too if my batteries weren’t dead.  Sigh.  I then tried to take a picture of the dog, but she was moving too much for me.  HH got out his camera and took one shot of her.  Isn’t she a goofy dog?  He took pity on me and is generously letting me use it as my photo for today.  Thanks babe!