Murray Burns: [shouts at rows of houses] Neighbors, I have an announcement for you. I have never seen such a collection of dirty windows. Now I want to see all of you out there on the fire escape with your Mr. Clean bottles, and let's snap it up!
Robards, Jason, perf. A Thousand Clowns. Dir. Fred Coe. 1965. united Artists. DVD.
TIME: 3:47 PM
PLACE: Back driveway
SUBJECT: Fingerprints on passenger window
The husband just *had* to wash his mid-life-crisis-mobile today. You know, it was caught in the rain…twice. TWICE! And then, on Saturday, MonkeyBoy used the window as a door handle and left fingerprints all over the corner of the glass. Oh, the horror.
George: That was one great party. And we brought back some lovely souvenirs.
Batten, Peter, perf. Yellow Submarine. Dir. George Dunning. 1968. Apple Corps. DVD.
TIME: 8:25 PM
PLACE: Home
SUBJECT: HH’s Funfest 2011 T-shirt
The HH went to the 2011 Corvette Funfest sponsored by Mid-America Motorworks in Effingham, Illinois yesterday. I stayed home and schlepped kids to and from soccer games. Did he bring me anything back? Nooooo. He bought two t-shirst, one for MonkeyBoy and one for himself. I see where I rank.
“The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish.”
Archie Bunker, "Edith's Accident." All In The Family. TV series 1968-1979.
TIME: 3:39 PM
PLACE: Driveway
SUBJECT: Body damage on the Corvette
So, yesterday, we were flying merrily down Highway 55 in HandsomeHusband’s pride and joy – his Corvette. We had driven up to Podunk to visit with Miss Dana and had a lovely time. We had been on the road for the return trip for about 3.5 hours. I was just beginning to check my eyelids for leaks, and was almost in a Zen-like state, when I simultaneously heard HH swear and a big “CLUNK” of something metal being caught in the front wheel well and then bouncing off of the passenger side door. Ugh…that’s not something you want to hear. When he could, HH drove onto an exit ramp, pulled over on the shoulder and we both got out to assess the damage: Let’s see, we have a blemish on the front bumper; some minor damage to the wheel well and this: an ugly gouge on the passenger door. Bum-mer. Does anyone know a good auto body repairman who specializes in fiberglass?
“Around mid-life everyone goes maniac a little bit.”
Tom Berenger (American actor, b1949)
TIME: 7:03 PM
PLACE: Main Street
SUBJECT: Reflection of 1990 Corvette in downtown window
I guess it could have been worse – he could have gotten a girlfriend instead of a car. I think he calculated the car would cost him a whole lot less in the long run. *rolls eyes* Wait! If this is mid-life for him, does this mean he’s going to hang around until he is 110? Oy vey! – I was hoping to still be young enough to be able replace him with a handsome young stud after he’s gone. Drat…I guess I’ll need to alter my future plans.
