I Get This Type of Humor From My Mom’s Side Of The Family (273/366)

Agent Cedric: Wait. You dropped your phony dog poo.
Blindman: What phony dog poo?

Top Secret, Paramount Pictures, 1984

TIME:  9:32 PM
PLACE:  MonkeyBoy’s bedroom
SUBJECT:  Fake Dog Poop on his pillow

I had to go to Target to buy some bleach for the laundry and while there I checked out the $1 area.  They had some practical joke items including this Fake Dog Poop.  I had to get it.   I placed it on MB’s pillow and waited while he went into his room to go to bed.  I hear him say “Oh my g-d!.  Really…really?  Mommmmm, one of the cat’s pooped on my pillow!”  I walked over to his bed and said “Oh dear, that’s terrible.  Here, let me clean it up for you.”  Then I bent over and picked it up with my mouth.  I heard him gasp as I did so (I wish I had a picture of his face when I did that - it had to be classic).  When he found out that it was fake, he immediately wanted to put it on DQ’s pillow.  She is at a school retreat this weekend and won’t be home until tomorrow afternoon – We can’t wait to see her reaction!

Trouble (271/366)

"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair... People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."

- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

TIME:  9:34 PM
PLACE:  Home
SUBJECT:  StellaDella’s agenda

It reads “Stella had her name on the board today & had to miss recess for not listening & throwing an eraser.  She also asked our Art visitors if they wanted to hear a dirty joke.  We spoke about how inappropriate that was.”  *shaking my head* – Her version?  She admitted to not listening and was writing her name on the board when a classmate threw an eraser at her and she “flipped it back”.  As for the dirty joke, she said she was asking a classmate if they wanted to hear the dirty joke her *father* told at a  restaurant back in July – HH is in such trouble as well.  She said she wasn’t talking to the Art visitors and didn’t realize that a “dirty joke” was something bad.  She thought “dirty” meant unclean, as in dirt.  (Not sure I believe that)  Oh she was upset.  I could barely get the story out of her there was so much crying, wailing and hiccupping going on.  We re-iterated the inappropriateness of her behavior and discussed our expectations in the future.  *sigh*…I guess I will be making a phone call to the school and talking to the teacher tomorrow and making a listing of extra chores for her to do since she won’t be on the computer or playing video games for awhile.

New Release (269/366)

“Love will not betray you, dismay you or enslave you- it will set you free”

Sigh No More ― Mumford & Sons

TIME:  8:35 PM
PLACE:  My desk
SUBJECT:  New album from Mumford & Sons on iTunes

Their new release came out today…Woo hoo!  Of course I had to purchase the darn thing.  Now I need to burn it to a disc so I can listen to it on my 30 minute drive to work tomorrow morning and copy it to my iPod shuffle.

I Love That Face (267/366)

“There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!' “

James Eugene "Jim" Carrey (Canadian and American actor, comedian, and producer, b1962)

TIME:  2:09 PM
PLACE:  Soccer fields
SUBJECT:  MonkeyBoy
(Too bad this wasn’t in better focus.)

He makes some of the greatest expressions while playing soccer.  I just love that boy and all of his faces.

Sweet (266/366)

I wanna love somebody/ I hear you need somebody to love/ Oh, I wanna love somebody/ I hear you're looking for someone to love

Sweet, Matthew, perf. "Girlfriend." Girlfriend. Zoo Entertainment, New York City, 1991. CD.

TIME:  8:40-11:16 PM
PLACE:  The Duck Room, Blueberry Hill, St. Louis, MO
SUBJECT:  Stage and Matthew Sweet

Many years ago, my sister - who is now 36 and was under 21 at the time -and I went to see Matthew Sweet at Mississippi Nights in St. Louis.  Tonight, we went to see him again, this time at a sold out show at Blueberry Hill.  Matthew has changed a little bit in his appearance since then, but he still sounded awesome.  He played his entire Girlfriend album from beginning to end and as an encore, some songs from 100% Fun and Altered Beast.  Excellent show!

Rays of Light (265/366)

TIME:  4:35 PM
PLACE:  Highway on the way home
SUBJECT:  Sun rays

Whenever I see rays like this, I like to believe it's my mom saying "Hi"

Clever Idea (264/366)

Hermione: Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled.
Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities!

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Warner Bros. Pictures, 2001.

TIME:  1:41 PM
PLACE:  Work bathroom
SUBJECT:  Sink

Today was my day to move to our new Home Office building.  It’s very nice.  It has that new car smell too.  One of my favorite things is these sinks in the bathrooms.  Automatic faucet – ok, we’ve all seen these – well and good, but look where the soap dispenser is…IN. THE. SINK.  I don’t have to make any extraneous reaches when washing my hands = just a little twist of the wrist to the right.  AND it keeps water from puddling on the counter.  How clever is that?

Lonely (263/366)

“It's lonely at the top. But it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.”

Larry Kersten (American Sociologist and Author. )

TIME:  7:28 PM
PLACE:  High school field
SUBJECT:  MonkeyBoy

MB’s junior high soccer team had a game under the high school lights.  They played the other junior high school in our district.  It was a blowout.  MB was in goal the first half.  I don’t think the two teams ever crossed midfield into our territory during the first half.  Poor MB, he looks a little bored.

Here Is The Steeple (262/366)

“An instinctive taste teaches men to build their churches with spire steeples which point as with a silent finger to the sky and stars.”

Samuel Taylor Coleridge (English lyrical Poet, Critic and Philosopher. 1772-1834)

TIME:  4:51 PM
PLACE:  Bunkum Road
SUBJECT:  Church Steeple

After work, I drove directly to MonkeyBoy’s school soccer game.  We had pretty blue skies and puffy clouds.  And a winner when time ran out.

Petting Zoo (261/366)

Charles Miner: What is a two-way petting zoo?
Jim Halpert: You pet the animals, they pet you back.
Michael Scott: It's a great idea.

“The Office”, New Boss, Season 5, Episode 18, 19 Mar 2009. 

TIME:  7:10 PM
PLACE:  Grade School
SUBJECT:  Ducks and lamb in petting zoo.

StellaDella’s grade school had it’s annual Fall Family Reading Night this evening.  The theme this year was “Down on The Farm”.  They served a hotdog/chili dog supper and then had stories, crafts, a snack and a free book for grades 6 and under.  There was even a petting zoo with some ducks, goats, llamas and lambs.  It poured down rain at first, but we were able to get outside toward the end of the program to see the animals.  (I took photos the best I could with the husband’s pocket camera and the quickly fading light – I wasn’t happy with the results – these are the best of the lot, so you know it was bad.)  SD even won the attendance prize for her grade – a bag full of books, a puzzle, stuffed cow and piggy bank.

Goal Kick (260/366)

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

Bruce Lee (American Actor and martial arts expert. Born in San Francisco, California, USA 1940-1973)

TIME:  12:40 PM
PLACE:  Soccer fields
SUBJECT:  MonkeyBoy

It was soccer Sunday.  StellaDella at noon and MB at 12:15.  (Hooray for being the same fields!)  Here’s MB taking a goal kick.  I love the look of concentration on his face.  Only one goal got by him today – over his head and out of reach – but that was all the other team needed.  We lost 1-0.

Stainless Steel Curls (259/366)

Curly stainless steel
Loopy, bright, works well on pans
I strip paint with it

Haiku by Sujomi

TIME:  10:29 PM
PLACE:  Kitchen
SUBJECT: Wire Scouring Pad

It’s all I got today.

Spider’s Shadow (257/366)

“A shadow on the wall,” Varys murmured, “yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.”

George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings (A Song of Ice and Fire, #2)

TIME:  8:11 PM
PLACE:  Front porch
SUBJECT:  Spider & shadow

This guy was on the front porch.  His shadow puppet looks just like a…spider.  Amazing.  Who knew a spider had such talent?

New Project (256/366)

I don’t know how she did it, but Rachel got poison ivy on her brain. The only way she could scratch it was if she thought about sandpaper

Steven Wright (American comedian, actor and writer, b 1955)

TIME:  7:29 PM
PLACE:  Backyard
SUBJECT:  Sander & wooden trunk

I purchased this trunk about 2 months ago at an estate sale for $12 – sweet! – plus it has loads of character.  My plan is to sand it down to the bare wood, stain it, apply a protective poly coating and use it as our coffee table.    Of course, to do that, I needed to buy a new random-orbital sander.  A Makita BO5030K.  I’m liking it.  Who knew that I would find removing paint to be so soothing?

A Dollar Doesn’t Go As Far As It Used To (255/366)

“The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.”

Flip Wilson (American Comedian, 1933-1998)

TIME:  8:21 PM
PLACE:  Target (naturally)
SUBJECT:  DramaQueen & cart

I needed make-up.  DramaQueen needed a folder and shampoo.  How the hell did it end up costing me $119.75?!?!   The sad part?  With the exception of the carton of Diet Dr. Pepper, it all fit in three shopping bags – it probably even could have fit in two.  We didn’t even need the cart to get it back to the car.  That’s depressing.

Pepper Dance (254/366)

"Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head."

Steven Wright (American comedian, actor and writer, b 1955)

TIME:  9:40 PM
PLACE: Kitchen
SUBJECT:  Static electricity

The Brownies are continuing to work on their Home Scientist Badge.  Tonight we looked at density and static electricity.  The density experiment with white soda and raisins?  Didn’t work so well.  But the balloons and pepper were a raging success.  I poured some pepper on  a sheet of paper in front of them.  Then, they rubbed their balloon on their hair to get a static charge.  When they brought the balloon close to the pepper, that charge attracted the pepper.  After the pepper moved to the balloon, a negative charge repelled it back to the paper.  Once back on the paper, the pepper lost the charge and it started all over again.  The girls thought it was the coolest thing ever.  I just hope their moms don’t mind the crazy hair from all of the balloon rubbing that was going on.

Apple Picking (253/366)

StellaDella and I went apple picking with the Girl Scouts today.


Even DramaQueen came along.

The summer drought was hard on this tree.


But most were loaded with apples.


We took the tractor back to the main building.


There we saw a turkey.


And pigs with curly tails. (SD got to throw an apple in their pen to feed them.)


But I think picking the apples was the best part.

Pressed Tin (252/366)

“This world has too low a ceiling for aspiring man!”

J Wallace Hamilton

TIME:  7:31 PM
PLACE:  Downtown
SUBJECT:  Ceiling in ice cream shop

HH had a chicken and beer dance, DQ went to the high school football game, so that left me, MB, SD and our cousin, who was here playing with SD, to figure out something to eat.  We decided to go downtown and eat sushi.  After, we walked down to the ice cream shop and the three younger ones ate some ice cream.  There is balcony seating in the shop.  All the better to admire the original tin ceiling in the space.

Wet Street Corner (251/366)

At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face.”

Albert Camus (French Novelist, Essayist and Playwright, 1957 Nobel Prize for Literature, 1913-1960)

TIME:  6:27 PM
PLACE:  Downtown
SUBJECT:  Wet street

Between the torrential rain showers we had this afternoon, I went downtown to purchase movie tickets for SD and me to see “Paranorman”.  I did not take an umbrella.  Dumb move.  Lucky for me, many of the storefronts have awnings.  I took advantage of them when returning to my car.

Squirrel! (250/366)

Alpha: Mayhaps you desire to - SQUIRREL!

Up, Walt Disney Pictures, Pixar Animation Studios, 2009

TIME:  5:34 PM
PLACE:  Front Porch
SUBJECT:  Squirrel

These almonds were stale, so I placed them on the front porch for the squirrels to find.  The tree rats get food, the dog and cats have something to watch and I get a picture.  Everyone wins.

Puddle (249/366)

“It does not make sense to put a puddle created by a truck tire during a rainstorm in the same . . . category as the Everglades,”

Dave Wilson

TIME:  6:10 PM
PLACE:  Parking lot
SUBJECT:  Reflection of Jeep in puddle

We had more storms this morning.  Once again the sun came out in the afternoon.  MonkeyBoy’s soccer game ended in tie.  Can’t complain.

Temptation (247/366)

“Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.”

Sam Levenson (American Author and Humorist. 1911-1980)

TIME: 3:04 PM
PLACE:  Pool
SUBJECT:  Sign and teddy bear

Labor Day is also traditionally the last day the pool is open for the season.  It was overcast at noon when we went, but the sun came out about 2:30 for a final hurrah.  The kids swam while the adults pelted each other with splash balls across the pool.  The “enemy” even tried enticing our troops to their side with the promise of free adult beverages.  My cousin, Lisa, did not succumb to their empty offerings.

A Nice End To The Day (246/366)

“After a day of cloud and wind and rain; Sometimes the setting sun breaks out again; And touching all the darksome woods with light; Smiles on the fields until they laugh and sing; Then like a ruby from the horizon's ring; Drops down into the night.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hanging of the Crane (pt. VII)

TIME:  7:00 PM
PLACE:  On the way home
SUBJECT:  Sky

The weather today was very moody today – the sky kept changing from bright sun, blue skies and white clouds to downpours and grey clouds back and forth, back and forth, all day long.  Around sunset, thankfully, we were treated to the prettier colors that the sky has to offer.

At The Sushi Bar (245/366)

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

Henry Youngman (English born American Comedian and Violinist, 1906-1998)

TIME:  6:35 PM
PLACE:  Wasabi Sushi Bar
SUBJECT:  Rice paper divider

The girls are spending the night at their cousins.  So I had a dinner date this evening with just my two boys…HH and MB.