Napoleon Dynamite: Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon Dynamite: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
Heder, John, and Aaron Ruell, perf. Napoleon Dynamite. Dir. Jarad Hess. 2004. Paramount Pictures.
TIME: 9:25 PM
SUBJECT: Carmex Click Stick
Guess who has a sinus infection/cold/sore throat? Yeah, it’s me – Thank you StellaDella for spreading the joy. Last night I was so stuffed up, I couldn’t breathe through my nose at all. I ended up doing the “sleeping with the mouth open” routine. When I woke up this morning I was extremely thirsty and had very dry and cracked lips. Luckily I had this lip balm on hand to help make them feel better. I love me some Carmex. It’s time to stock up for the winter.